NOTE TO PUBLIC DOMAIN DISTRIBUTORS ------------------------------------ This music disk may not be distributed by any so-called "non profit" Public Domain distributors, unless the developers, Crusaders Productions Norway, are consulted and allows this. We do not approve of the way these companies make a living on our hard work, without us receiving a penny or even being asked first. If you wish to include this disk in a PD library or sell this disk for money (regardless of how much), then get in touch with Crusaders Productions at the address below and get it cleared with us first. We have no intention of making any money on this disk, it is meant for all Amiga owners to enjoy for free. It may and should be freely copied, as long as no money is involved. It's time the semi-serious Public Domain companies stop ripping off the real NON-profit developers. Who said piracy? If you choose to neglect this message and still sell this disk for money behind our backs, then with our next disk we will have to make sure you don't, by opening the scrolltext with a very impressive collection of obscene words, to make sure anyone selling it gets in trouble. WE ALSO URGE OTHER GROUPS TO INCLUDE THIS MESSAGE IN THEIR PRODUCTS. WE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER! (C) 1990 CRUSADERS PRODUCTIONS ======================================================== PROLOGUE -------- - "W H A T T I M E I S I T ? ? ? !" - "It's music disk time, Dr.Awesome..." - "Well pinch my private parts! Does that mean I have to write another scrolltext..?" - "I'm afraid so..." - "Oh shit... Well, better get down to it then.." - "Slow down - maybe you should try to come up with a title for the disk first.." - "Title, yes we need one, don't we... Uhh.. how about 'Micro Concept' ?" - "It's ok i guess, but it's not H*I*P enough if you see what I mean.. Break up the words, and let's see what that makes.." - "Hmmm.. Ok then: 'MI-CRO CON-CEPT' - is that hip enough for you then?" - "Sure is... Well should we get started ? - "Right, but hold on a second will you? Who's gonna do the dirty work then eh?" - "Well I figured you and Fleshbrain could do the music, and if we ask nicely, maybe Dr.Claw will do the code for us... And then we can add some graphics from Rusc and Bustman - that's about all we need really.." - "Yep, sounds good to me - well, flash the lights, break out the beer and the women - here we go!!!!" - - - The above conversation was overheard in the local pizza restaurant a few weeks ago. The result is what you see before you... CRUSADERS MI-CRO CON-CEPT CONTROLS -------- Controlling this Con-cept is really very simple - all you need to do is press the F-key for the song you want to hear, and use your up/down arrow keys to control the text page. That's all there's to it. Easy, eh? And if you want to play the game in window right of the animation use your arrowkeys on keypad. (2,4,6,8) The point is to move the blocks around and create a picture of Calvin. (Just like the one in the animation!) CREDITS ------- Right, if you couldn't find the "hidden" credits section in the conversation up there, here are the credits, in more of a standard format: ORIGINAL DESIGN AND CON-CEPT : DR.AWESOME MUSIC : DR.AWESOME AND FLESHBRAIN CODE : DR.CLAW GRAPHICS : RUSC AND BUSTMAN SCROLLTEXT + GENERAL BULLSHIT: DR.AWESOME Moral and technical support: Commodore Computers Inc. Amiga Freelancers (ProTracker) Kaktus & Mahoney (Noisetracker) Kefrens (Seka) Triumph (Intuitracker) Tristar + RSI (Noiseplayer) All Crusaders General Kane G. Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic Mike Robertson (MBBS) Roland Technology Dr.Funkenstein The Coca Cola Company Dr.Awesome says hi to: ---------------------- Martyn Brown Paul Harris Ron Fonteine Seb Lentfert Allister Brimble Vad (Vadder Vaddest) & Andy Tobias Richter Rico "Beanbag" Holmes Brian Postma Robert Troughton Stefan & Ann Andreas Korzinsky at Foursfield Matthew Simmonds Tor-Egil Braseth Havok & Big Al / Ecstacy Blair & Grant Marc "Panther" in New Zealand Rob Koenen Wiseguy/Triumph Johannes Norrmann Dr.Claw says hi to: ------------------- Rastan / Skid Row Mogwai / Defjam Zin / Metallians Dr.Zero Pal Gjerde BatMan Rattler / Unit One Fleshbrain says hi to all Finnish Amiga freaks !! JOKE #1 -------- Before we go any further, let's have today's first joke, ok? The recently wed husband gives his new wife some short instructions: "If you want to have sex, pull my willie once. If you don't want to have sex, pull it 300 times." Naughty one. :-) A FEW MESSAGES -------------- Rico: I heard you broke your leg in Sweden, and didn't have an insurance. Talk about a fate worse than death! Stranded in Sweden with a broken leg! Hohoho Ron: Where were you, eh? Better luck next year - Thanks for TME but I didn't like it (to say the least). Looking forward to the new series of PD disks, and I'd love to help out. Vad & Andy: Keep a case of Newkies ready for us - and a couple of steaks. But not the small ones we had last time - this time we're going for the 64oz'er! Hehe --> thanks for a good time! (Oh and Martyn too.. :) Allister: Nice getting to know you. See you next year too! Martyn: :*) Tobias: Thanks for nice cooperation - looking forward to seeing your anim-video! Havok + Big Al: Nice meeting you - see you next year. Hi to Conqueror too. And those guys from Silents Sweden... Ta for the tickets guys! OK, just a quickie in here: --------------------------- "Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it? That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten, and we'll be even!" ... Sort that one out! CONTACT ADDRESSES ----------------- You are most welcome to get in touch with Dr.Awesome for professionally done music for your game or demo. Experience is good, speed is guaranteed and prices are reasonable. Write to: BJORN A. LYNNE, FREELANCE MUSICIAN KROKEN 9 2010 STROMMEN NORWAY OR PHONE ME ON +47 6 817041 ** NOTE : NO ILLEGAL SOFTWARE! NO "SWAPPERS"! ** Contacting the Crusaders for any other business can be done at the following address: CRUSADERS PO. BOX 45 1474 NORDBYHAGEN NORWAY Or call one of our boards in Norway: WHQ "Home Sweet Home" - +47 6 810881 - +47 6 810864 Golden Gate - +47 42 46718 JOKE #2 ------- Pete and Jim got married at about the same time, and decided to go to the same place on their honeymoon. The two couples booked into the same hotel, with rooms right next to each other. Well the night went by and they both did what they're supposed to do on their first night - and they did it all night long. In the early morning hours, Jim was standing on the balcony, having a cigarette after the night's exercises. Pete showed up as well, on the other balcony. Pete was curious about how Jim had done, so he said: - "How's your wife then?" - "Oh, she's in the bed, smoking.." - "Smoking?? Shit, mine's only a bit sweaty..." - - - All right all right - I know that wasn't a very good one - blame Dr.Outtasight though. It was his joke. We'll see if we can dig up something better for the next one. GENERAL SMALLTALK ----------------- The songs on this music disk were composed over quite a long period of time. Of course the two composers have done much more music besides these few tunes during this time, but some has been used for demos, some for games, some for music competitions, slideshows, disk mags etc. - plus we already have enough songs ready to release another music disk tomorrow if we should wish to. And maybe one the day after... But it's always nice to have a few tunes "in stock", just in case something should turn up. Well well well well well. You know, this is music disk number ... let's see... 8 from Crusaders. And as far as I can remember, I've written the scrolltext for every one of them.. No wonder I'm running out of stuff to write! And many more music disks will follow - as long as we enjoy making them. It's just this godforsaken scroller... Ok so this isn't really a "scrolltext", but it's basically the same. I wonder why no one has thought of this before - I mean the text display. I personally find it a lot better than the old scroller - with a text display like this, the reader (yes you) can decide his own reading speed, and stop it whenever he feels like it. No more booting the disk 5 times to write down an address. No more headaches from reading twisty scrollers. We hope more people will use this kind of "scrolltext" in the future! All Noisetracker users might be interested to hear that Amiga Freelancers, Norway, have come up with a version that beats all other Soundtrackers and Noisetrackers. It's called PROTRACKER, and offers all the possibilities of Noisetracker 2.0 (except for the sampler) and loads and loads of more functions. Everything is improved - there are several new pages in ProTracker, like the help-pages, the edit-op pages, advanced sample handling, mixing, boosting and filtering, a setup screen, great new improved disk operations page etc. etc. etc. etc. For further info about ProTracker, write to: Amiga Freelancers Bekkelivn. 10 2010 Strommen NORWAY Or get in touch with Amiga Freelancers on our "Home Sweet Home" BBS Ladies and gentlemen... T H E N E W S B I T Here's your chance to read about the most important things that have happened in and outside the Amiga scene lately! PS! some of the news can only be classified as "rumours" and we cannot guarantee that they are true! Read on, and get amazed... - Theatre and Network will hold an Amiga conference in "Tandberghallen" near Lillestrm at xmas-time. Rumours say 750 persons are planning to come. - Eccentric rock group "Random" reaches the very top of Strommen's hit-lists with new super hit single "Hold Upon Me". - The Crusaders HQ BBS passed the magic 1000 users milestone. Number of active users is now approx. 1050. - Candy Dulpher & Funky Stuff played Rockefeller Music Hall, Oslo, and did GREAT. - Graphics artist Tobias Richter will make a Star-Trek video - using only Amiga animations! - Grant & Blair (New Zealand) filmed themselves sitting in front of the camera, supping beer and talking about everything and nothing. Then they sent the video tape to the Crusaders. - Dr.Outtasight said "no thanks" to some food. - Some guys in Finland held a disco, using only Amiga music. - Sten Bech, bass player in eccentric rock group Random, fell down the stairs with the bass guitar around his neck, causing it to break in half. - U.G.A. (United Graphics Artists) will hold an artist conference in Holland. You need an invitation to get in - it is only for specially invited artists. - The Crusaders actually COMPLETED a demo, thanks to Excalibur. - Allister "Demon" Brimble tasted Newcastle Brown Ale for the first time, and decided to get drunk on Rum & Black! (Which he also did.) - Next issue of the EuroChart, #8, will be out 1st of January 1991. (However, it might be released at the Theatre/Network party a few days before.) - Dr.Awesome bought a video camera and completed a full length artistic motion picture during the 1st day. The movie featured Dr.Outtasight and Lazerbrain as main actors - it will be shown only on closed circuit and will never be available to the general public. - Crusaders are working on a Noisetracker -> Music-X converter program. - Eccentric rock group Random had to cancel one rehearsal due to lack of bass guitar. - Crusaders are working on a good old-fashioned, intriguing adventure game! Plot: Dr.Outtasight & Fleshbrain. Code: Fleshbrain. Music: Dr.Awesome & Fleshbrain. Graphics: Bustman. This work is however still in the early stages. - The Official Crusaders EuroChart Top Ten had it's one-year celebration issue in November 90. Number of votes counted for the Nov.90 issue: 402. - P.Man is a new member of Crusaders. Yster and Savatage are no longer members of Crusaders. - Protracker version 1.1 from Amiga Freelancers will be available at about x-mas time 1990 - maybe a little later. It will (of course) be even better than 1.0. - During the last few months, lots and lots of software developers have gone bust, partly due to piracy. This means less games on the market.. - Raven/Crusaders bought a new hard drive - the Crusaders Golden Gate board now runs with a 100meg drive. - A new diskmag called Nordic News will soon be available in Norway. It will NOT be a "cracker/scene-mag", but a serious mag that will be sold in the shops. The idea is to give NDM some competition. - Dr.Awesome is seriously considering moving to the UK. In that case, his activities with Crusaders will dramatically decrease. - A new ST emulator is available. This one uses both software and hardware and is 100 % compatible. Isn't it strange, that the Amiga can emulate all other home computers - but NO other computers can emulate the Amiga.. Victory! - Roxy Music released a live album. - Dr.Outtasight glued Sten Bech's bass guitar - Random are back on their feet. - Crusaders are thinking about maybe adding a news-section, like this, into the well known EuroChart. How does "EuroNews" sound ? - Eccentric rock group Random will soon record their first self-directed music video. Joke #3 ------- At the local sports-centre, a bet was going on... All the guys agreed to take the finest girl in the place, a REAL sex-bomb, and cover her up completely in sun oil, so she became real greasy and slippery... Then they agreed that the guy who could pick this girl up, hold her, and carry her home, he could do whatever he wanted to her... The girl agreed too, so the bet was on! Well, all the guys tried to hold the girl, but no matter how hard they tried, the girl just slipped out of their hands - she was just too greasy. They tried and tried and tried... NO ONE could do it - they were almost ready to give up... ..but then a bowling player came along. /-----------------------------------------\ / E U R O C H A R T \ /---------------------------------------------\ / \ / Have you remembered to vote for the \ / Official Crusaders EuroChart Top-Ten ? \ |-----------------------------------------------------| | If not, then grab a pen, write down your votes, | | and send them today, to this address: Crusaders, | | "Chart", Po Box 45, 1474 Nordbyhagen, Norway | |-----------------------------------------------------| \ Or if you have a modem, call any of our boards / \ and vote directly on-line ! / \ / \---------------------------------------------/ Joke #4 ------- Bill had tattooed the name of his girlfriend on his old willie. The name of the girlfriend was "Wendy", so when his willie was non-erected, you could only see the letters W and Y. Bill was in the military service together with a big black guy - and once in the shower, he noticed that the black guy had WY on his dick too! Bill asked: - Hey - are you in love with Wendy too? The black guy looked down and said: - No mahn. This here says "Welcome to Zimbabwe. This is your lucky day." ECES SHOW 1990 + ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE VISITED BY VIKINGS (AGAIN) --------------------------------------------------------------- For those interested, here's our "UK report - as seen by 3 suspect looking Norwegian computer freaks". That means you Martyn, Al, Ron, Vad, Andy, and the friendly lot at the pub. (Most of who can actually say "I wouldn't mind licking your purse" in Norwegian...) We arrived at Gatwick, London, 4 days before the show actually started. With loadsamoney to spend and record stores that were open most of the night, we had no problems killing time. We met the Ecstacy lot and some Swedish dudes from Fairlight (I think) and Silents (I think) on our 2nd day there, and had them amuse us with some impressive karate shit (most of them ending up flatface on the ground) and trips to the arcades. Our hotel room was a DUMP so we stayed out of it as much as possible. I can only name safes falling off the walls, cupboards smashing to the floor once you touched them, a woman waking us up at 10 am every day to literally throw us out, no elevator, and stairs that would f**k*ng kill the average non-fit computer freak. (Luckily, we are tuff vikings and could just handle them) :-) On the first trade day of the show, thursday I think, we met Martyn Brown and Allister Brimble, and went to the show with them. We were supposed to meet Ron Fonteine there as well but being the saucy fellow he is, he never managed to find us - probably due to the fact that we were supposed to meet him at the "Lamb & Flag" pub downstairs, but on this show, there WAS NO downstairs. Me met a lot of other people though - Martyn seemed to know EVERYone in the hall and had to go for a beer with most of them. He even had to drink most of the other guys' beers, due to them not showing up etc. Tough shit Jimmyboy. The show itself was a bit of a letdown. Being only half the size of the old PCW Show, there wasn't all that much to see. The most impressive stands were held by Commodore (of course), Ocean, U.S.Gold and Gremlin (the last mentioned not so much for the stand itself but for the gorgeous girls giving away flyers etc. Dr.Outtasight used up a whole roll of film on them. One of them told me that I looked a real hunk with their silly Gremlins hat on, but Dr.Outtasight refuses to believe that. :) Anyway, for us musicians, the most interesting things at the show was Roland's "Band-in-a-box" package (It WAS Roland wasn't it..?). At the moment it's only available for the ST but they are making the Amiga version right now so it should be out early next year. This was something completely new in MIDI tools, and I'm definitely getting one when it is finished. You could get it with a sound module - or just the software, if you already have one or more synths. I also managed to grab hold of Music-X for only 59 quid which is VERY cheap. The prices varied from 59 up to about 180 pounds - only at the show! Who would want to buy a software package for 180 quid, when you can walk 20 meters and get it for 59 ? We were also told that MicroIllusions are working on Music-X II, which should blast aside all competition, and I find that easy to believe, seeing as how Music-X already is the best package out there. Apart from that, the show was games, games, games and more games. The Amiga was the obvious no. 1 computer around - it was on more stands than any other computer or games console. And then there were turtles. And more turtles. After 3 days walking about London and the ECES, you're guaranteed to have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles up to your neck and beyond - they're EVERYWHERE - even including a couple of full-size turtles jumping about - men dressed up in silly turtle costumes.. If I ever so much as see a turtle again... We also met Robocop, another guy dressed up in a costume. He smiled nicely to the camera and walked on, looking a bit of a twat really.. We were at the show both of the trade days - it got boring the 2nd day. We even showed up for a little while on Saturday, the first of the public days, but the place was absolutely STUFFED with kids, we couldn't breath, so we got the hell out of there. There wasn't really a lot of big NEWS to see at the show. A few games of course, but nothing that could really capture interest, the exception being "Band-in-a-box" which I mentioned. Oh and there was one more thing worth mentioning - full-size arcade machines with joysticks etc. that you could hook up to your Amiga and play Kick Off or Battle Squadron on a real standing-up arcade. You could get two versions - one with a big arcade-screen built into it, and one without a screen, but with a hole in it, which fitted the 1084 monitor. I don't really know whether this was something brand new, but it was the first time I saw them. Well, as an overall, it seemed like people were there to sell, sell, sell, sell - even on the trade days. I wouldn't recommend people going a long way (like from Norway) just to see the show. Mind you, we're probably going next year again, not only because of the show, but to meet friends etc. And when we're going over anyway, we might as well go when the show is on. We met surprisingly few guys from the "scene" - people in other groups etc. This is probably (partly) due to the fact that we weren't there a lot on the public days. And even if a lot of groups were there when we were, it's not easy meeting people when you don't know what they look like etc. I mean, we didn't go around yelling "We're from Crusaders - here we are!!!!". The groups I can remember seeing/talking to were Ecstacy, Anarchy, Quartex, Fairlight, Silents, Share & Enjoy. They were there to check out the show and news like we were, and from what I've heard, they were a bit disappointed too. Well, after a few somewhat stressing days at the show (but with nice and relaxing pub visits every night) we went with a National Express bus up to Wakefield to visit friends. We had a great time up there - we were taken good care of by Vad, Martyn and his mom (who accidently got me into liking coffee with milk & sugar - I drink it every day now!). El Cubo had a nasty virus tearing at his body, so he got Martyn's bed, and Martyn and myself had to sleep in a tent outside. Mind you, Martyn got scared shitless just because of a little wind and rain, so he went in to sleep on the couch. So there I was, in the tent, with the north english wind and rain tearing at the tent, making an awful noise... Well, being one who can sleep anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances, I didn't really mind - I've slept in (a lot) worse places. Besides, I had 5 sleeping bags all to myself, so I wasn't cold! While in Wakefield, we went to a place where they were supposed to serve really really BIG steaks. We Norwegians, playing tuff of course, ordered the largest one they had - a 32 ounces one. I remember getting suspicious when I saw the red ring around this particular steak on the menu... For those not familiar with "ounces", 32 ounces equals to 960 grammes, just under a kg! Well the first steak was served, and we though it was a great big plate with all the steaks sort of served all at once. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I was made aware that this was in fact ONE steak - and I was supposed to eat it. It was also served with chips and salad. The steak itself was about 20 x 30 x 3 cm - some 6 times the size of the average steak served in restaurants. The only one who managed to eat the whole steak, with chips and the lot, was Dr.Outtasight. When it was all down, the waiter came up to him with a diploma that said "This is to certify that the holder of this diploma has eaten a 32 oz steak, complete with chips and salad, without help from anyone." or something like that. Far out! Anyway, we did a lot of rather relaxing stuff up there, like lying down, walking about and things like that - we also went to see Gremlins 2 which was a sorry piece of utter SHIT. Norwegians will be disgusted to hear that we were offered pop-corn with sugar instead of salt! Yuk! After 3 days we went back to London to finish off the last of our money before we returned to dear Norway - and it was good to see it again. There's no place like home! The amount of luggage we had though, was about twice as much as we were allowed to take on the plane, close to 100 kg in CD's, videos, software and hardware. Only thanks to our incredible charm and a great deal of luck, they let us on the plane with all our stuff. It had something to do with 15 free seats on the plane as well... Ok, thanks to all those we met - and to those we didn't meet: We'll (most probably) be there next year as well, so we'll see you then! **** END OF REPORT **** Alright, let's have it: How to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Go to a place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with raisins). The sixth day you climb the tree, and bring with you a muffin without raisins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant. - - - Ok, to finish this whole thing off, here's a story about a guy who had a dog called "Sex"... Usually, everyone who has a dog either calls him Rover or Boy or something. I call mine "Sex". Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in this alley at 4:00 A.M. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up next Thursday. One day I went to city Hall to get a dog licence for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a licence for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one, too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." And he said he didn't care how she looked. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was two years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But Sex played a big part of my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church. My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for Sex. Then I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." And the clerk said, "Me, too." One day I told my friend that I had Sex on T.V. He said, "Show-off" I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets. When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honour, I had Sex before I was married." And the Judge said. "Me, too." When I told him that after I was married Sex left me, he said, "Me, too." Well, now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist and she said, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that Sex isn't man's best friend- So GET YOURSELF A DOG!!!" - - - A DAY OFF WORK -------------- So, you want the day off ??? Let's take a moment to look at what you are asking for. 1. There are 365 days available for work. 2. There are 52 weeks per year of which you already have 2 days off each weekend, leaving 261 days left available for work. 3. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work that accounts for 170 days. There are 91 left available for work. 4. You spend 30 minutes each day on breaks that accounts for 23 days a year, leaving 68 days available for work. 5. You spend 1 hour a day at lunch, that that accounts for another 46 days per year leaving 22 days available for work. 6. You spend 2 days per year on sick leave, leaving 20 days available for work. 7. You take 9 holidays per year, leaving 11 days available for work. 8. You take 10 days vacation each year, leaving 1 day left available for work. NO WAY are you going to take THAT day off! - - - Some "Famous Last Words": ------------------------- - They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... - You and which army? - Die, my dear - that's the last thing I shall do! - O-boy, it's a long time since I drank champagne! - What do you mean, I'm not looking well??! REET! All good things have to come an end, fellas. This is where this scrolltext ends. Let's see the size of it... hmmm.. checking checking... hmmm approx. 28 kb - that's about average I guess.. Well we hope you've enjoyed this music disk - we'll leave you know.. see you again in the next Crusaders production - never too far away!! So long! End.
