Howdy fellas! Believe it or not; you're actually looking at the latest release of the Official EuroChart Top Ten. Like last time, it's me, Dr. Outtasight who does the scroll text (I wonder why!?) so let's kick-off with something that'll make your eyes pop out. Speaking of eyes: Ever heard this one before? The eye specialist and the gynaecologist had been close friends for a very long time and one day the eye specialist reached his 50th birthday. From the gyneacologist he got a cake covered with lots of small eyes. The next day the gyneacologist got a note from the eye specialist that said: Thanks for the cake. Looking forward to your 50th birthday. Hehe. Just as you thought; It's all jokes and funny stuff when I get hold of the keyboard. Besides jokes, I don't think I'm gonna talk about much else. It just seems such a waste of good raster... One thing though (I just HAVE to tell you) is my new VCR! It's the best. Simply THE best VCR in the world. So what's so good about it? Well, for starters it has all the obvious: fast/slow play, 2x picture rate, three heads, a text generator so you can write scrolltext on top of your favorite programs, and so on... But the best thing about it is the remote control (WHAT?!?!? Your VCR doesn't have a remote control?) The remote control has 67 buttons and an LCD display. And it even has a built-in joystick! Enough about that. You don't want to hear about my new VCR, do you... No? You just want to hear some more jokes? Ok, here's a joke for you: There was this shy and beautiful young girl who visited her doctor for the yearly tests. The doc: Please take off your clothes and lay down on the bench. The girl: But I can't undress while someone's looking! So the doctor walks over to the door and swithes off the light. The girl: When I'm undressed, where shall I put my clothes? The doc: Ah, just put them on top of mine..... Har Har! While I'm at it here's another one: A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession. "Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday" "Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked. "Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission" "Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm. "Yes father." "That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch" "But father he also touched my breasts" "You mean like this??" He touches her breasts. "Yes father." "That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch." "But father, he took off my clothes." "Like this??" He takes off her clothes. "Yes father". "That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch." "But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where." "Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where. "Yes father," she says sometime later. "But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch." "But father, he has AIDS" "THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!" Woooo! That was knorty! Anyway, we interrupt this scroller for a little piece written by Bustman - here he goes ... Another Eurochart follows with another commercial break. You guessed it, this is as always the freaky Bustman dropping in with another ordinary advertisement. This stuff is actually concerning the fantastic subject called graphics. To make it short as a snort, you are once again able to buy some of the most outstanding graphics around. You are now able to improve the graphical layout of your productions with professional workmanship. Just take a look at the artwork in this issue of the as ever popular Eurochart. I have as far as it has been possible tried to make the graphics great. High standard techniques have been used to get the very best results. You can order everything between ordinary charsets to small pictures, you can get whatever you want. The only exception is full size pictures, because I seldom have the time to finish such a large work. And of course, all graphics ordering are drawed especially for you and have not been used ever before. You can do whatever you want with it, as long as you give me credits. When it comes to payment, I will charge in non-formatted quality disks. The disks should be in a good state of health, so to speak clean and fresh from the fridge. The prices will range after how much work I have used on the graphics. If this offer sounds tempting, here is some information on how to order. Remember to state exactly what you want, how many bitplanes, what resolution, and especially the size if it is a matter of charsets. This will make things a lot more easier. Well, you should now go and get your pen and paper, because my address is following. Write at any time to... BUSTMAN/CRUSADERS - MYRDALSKOGEN 379 - 5095 ULSET - NORWAY ... ... And there is no need to include disks, I will write back to you when the graphics are finished. Then you can send me a disk that I can use to return your order. I am now sitting here listening to an unbelievable cool and funky tune made by Fleshbrain, called Mercury Wind. Just love it! It really gets me in the mood! And as this text fades out, I just want to say hello to all my friends and contacts. Backing out now, see you all later somewhere... ... And this is where Dr.Outtasight gets back to the keyboard, to give us a couple of jokes I think... Here he goes: Since you've already have gotten the usual amount of what's what and who's who and who did what about this EuroChart, I'll give you one more joke, but that's it for jokes. (It's quite a long one so pay attention!) There once was a brother and a sister, fraternal twins, who were approaching their high school graduation. It was getting near prom night and neither of them had a date for it. So one day, the girl approaches her brother and says "Hey, you got a date for the prom yet?" He says "No, why? You got someone lined up for me?" "You might say that. Why don't you take me to the prom?" "Take you? You kidding? You're my sister!" "Well, are you taking somebody else out?" "You know I don't have a date, Sis." "And neither do I. But we both want to go to the prom, don't we?" Her brother nods. She continues, "So we should go with each other." The brother can't see anything wrong with her reasoning, so he tells his sister that if neither of them has a date by Wednesday evening, he will take her to the prom. Wednesday evening rolls around. Neither of the siblings has a date, so the the brother tells his sister that he'll take her to the prom on Friday. At the prom, both of them have a good time. The brother is glad that his sister talked him into taking her. Then, while he's standing at the punch bowl, his sister comes up to him again. "Hey, brother, let's dance." He looks around to make sure that nobody heard her. "Look, Sis, this is the Senior Prom, okay? I'm not going to dance with my own sister at the prom, okay?" "Don't be so shy. Look, Jimmy Elder is dancing with his cousin. So why can't you dance with your sister?" "Oh ... all right." So they dance, a slow number. The rest of the prom passes by and after a while it's over and time to go. Both of them have had a good time. In the car, with the brother at the wheel, the sister looks over at him and says, "Let's not go straight home." He gives her a curious look and says, "What are we going to do instead?" "Oh, I don't know. Just drive around." He agrees, and after they have driven around for a while, out in the country she looks over at him again and says "Want to find some place to park?" "Hell," he says, "are you crazy? You're my sister, I'm not going parking with you!" "Who said anything about 'going parking'? Let's just pull over somewher and talk for a while, okay? It's been a busy year for both of us-- how long has it been since we've had a chance to talk to each other?" So she finally talks her brother into pulling the car over on a secluded back road, and after a few minutes of idle talk, she looks over at him again. "Hey ..." she says. "What?" "Why don't you kiss me?" "You've been suggesting a lot of weird things lately, you know that? I' not going to kiss you, you're my sister!" And he reached for the ignition switch to start the car. She reached out and took his hand. "I know I'm your sister. You've mentioned that a lot lately. And you're my brother. And don't we love each other? Why shouldn't we kiss if we feel like it?" She kissed him on the cheek and he kissed her back. After a few minutes of kissing, she whispered in his ear, "Come on. Let's do it." "Do what," said her brother, but he had a good idea of what his sister had in mind. "You know what," his sister replied. "I can't do that with you, you're my..." His voice trailed off. While he was on top of her, his sister murmured, "You know, you're a lot lighter than Dad." "I know," said her brother. "Mom told me." Oh my goodness. That may have been a bit too norty. Next time someone will put a XXX-rated sticker on the EuroChart disks for sure.... Hey! I have some messages here: First of all HeatBeat / Sector 4: Great music on that demo with the planet with the scrolltext around it! And remember to send me that picture of you-know-who! Then a message for WizeGuy / Triumph: Please stick to convetional weapons when you're in war with that other guy on the board. Most of your latest productions cause bursts of laughter and does harm to both civilians-, and innocent people's stomach regions. Keep it up 'ol gringo! Then a BIG HELLO! to all the guys we met in London a while ago. An especially knorty hello to Martyn / Newsflash UK. (Yes I know you liked the last joke, Mr. James Brown) And say hello to the guys at the local pub, and tell them there'll be a viking invasion next year too! And then a message for all users at the Crusaders World Head Quarters BBS who never seem to read the messages I write: The defective harddisk is now replaced and the files are restored. In other words: Business as usual. And don't forget to call our other board too The Golden Gate Number? Ah... I don't remember... Nah. Just kidding. The number is: +47-42-46718 Ok. That's it for the messages. Now for something completely different: A joke: The newly wedded man instructs his wife: If you want to have sex, pull my old johnny one time. If you don't want to have sex, just pull it 200 times. Hehehehehaaaa! Did you know that even poems can be funny? Don't believe me? Watch this then: Mother held her little daughter twenty minutes under water - Not to save herself from trouble - just to see the funny bubbles... Now here's an allmost true story: One guy I knew had his girlfriend's name tatooed on his Willie. The girl's name was Wendy, but when it wasn't erected it only read the letters Wy. While doing his millitary service he met this black guy in the shower. He noticed that the black guys Willie also had the letters Wy tatooed on the side, and he asked: So you have Wendy tatooed on your's too? The black guy gives him a strange grin and answers "No mahrn, Nooo. Mine sayz 'Welcome to Zimbabwe. This is your lucky day'!! Hoo Hooo! It's been a lot of jokes this time, so no more jokes. Just a question I've always wanted to ask. Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? InDiana..... Of course... Where else? That's all for me this time. So until next time you'll just have to make them jokes up yourselves. Repeat until Ctrl-LAmiga-RAmiga...
